EXAM DATES

Here you have the exam dates:
Written exam: June 2, 2009 (Monday) from 11:30 to 14:00
Oral exam : June 10, 2009 (Wednesday)
from 9:00 to 13:00
and 15:00 to 17:00

Parts of the exam that are passed will keep the mark until September. You can ask for the option of doing the oral exam in June, even if you fail the written part. Make sure you make the petition in our office.

Wish you luck!

INSTRUCTIONS TO CHECK THE OIL ARE DIFFERENT FOR MEN AND WOMEN

Oil check instructions for WOMEN:
1.- Drive into ULTRA TUNE when the odometer reaches 10.000 kilometres since the last oil change.
2.- Drink a cup of coffee and read a free newspaper.
3.- 15 minutes later , write a cheque and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
Money spent:
Oil change ....... 40 dollars
coffee................ 2 dollars
TOTAL: ........... 42 DOLLARS

OIL CHANGE INSTRUCTIONS FOR MEN:
1.- Wait until saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, a filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, and then write a cheque for 50 dollars
2.- stop by the bottle shop and buy a slab of beer , write a cheque for 40 dollars, drive home.
3.- Open a beer and drink it.
4.- Jack the car up. Spend thirty minutes looking for jack stands.
5.- Find jack stands under the caravan.
6.- IN frustration open another beer and drink it.
7.- Place drain pan under the engine.
8.- Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9.- give up and use crescent wrench.
10.- Unscrew drain plug.
11.- Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil on you in process. Curse and swear.
12.- Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13.- Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14.- Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15.- Give up, crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.
16.- Crawl out from under the car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly, hide old oil filter among rubbish in wheely bin to avoid environmental penalties.
17.- Drink another beer.
18.- Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
19.- Dump first litre of fresh oil into engine.
20.- Remember drain plug from step 11
21.- Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
22.- Drink beer.
23.- Discover that first litre of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
24.- Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.
25.- Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame.
26.- begin swearing fit.
27.- Throw stupid crescent wrench.
28.- Swear for additional five minutes because the wrench hit a bowling trophy.
29.- Beer
30.- Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
31.- Beer
32.- Dump in five fresh litres of oil
33.- Beer
34.- Lower car from jack stands.
35.- Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps.
36.- Beer
37.- Test drive car
38.- Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol
39.- car is impounded
40.- Call loving wife, make bail.
41.- 12 hours later get car from impound yard

MONEY SPENT:
Parts .........................50 dollars
DUI........................... 2.400 dollars
Impound fee............ 75 dollars
Bail............................ 1.500 dollars
beer .......................... 40 dollars
TOTAL: .......................4.085 dollars

But you know the job was done right!

1.- FACTS AND FIGURES THAT MAKE US THINK

This presentation was shown to a group of workers and investigators of Sony, at their Executives Conference this year. It is about the world of computing, and information technologies nowadays. It is really amazing.
It makes you think about how much information we have at hand. If you wish to see it in YOutube, click here.

Here is the Mom's song

Dear Moms who are studying english,
this is your song. Specially dedicated to you.
See whether you can shout at your children
in English next time you have a little nasty
argument about the pocket money, or homework.
It must be true that a mom's work never ends.

MY HEART WILL GO ON (TO SING ALONG)

Dear B1-s:
How is everything? are you enjoying yourselves apart from reading texts?
I found this video of the film Titanic, with the lyrics of the song My heart will go on sung by Celine Dion. I thought you might want to listen to it as you are on holiday now.
Sorry I did not have anyone by AC/DC.....

HOW TO COPE WITH CHILDREN AFTER SEPARATION

This interesting video about how to deal with your children after your separation or divorce was very interesting to discuss in class.

• Should a couple tell a child about their problems, or should they just pretend that nothing strange is going on between them?
• What is the best age to talk it over for a child?
• How should we explain it to him or her?

If you find yourself in this situation, this video may be a hint for you. For the rest of us it can be something to think about. I am open to any comments you would like to make. Click here to see the video.

THEY CLAIM THAT AMERICANS ARE STUPID, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Here are some of the questions that were asked to some North American people in a survey carried out in the street:
1.- Name a country that begins with U
2.- Who is in the coalition of the willing?
3.- What's the religion of Israel?
4.- What religion are Budhist monks?
5.- Who won the Vietnam war?
6.- Who is Fidel Castro?
7.- How many sides does a triangle have?
8.- What is the currency used in the UK?
9.- In terms of the war of terror, who do you think should be the next country to invade?
10.- Put a number in the following countries: sri lanka, North korea, France

11.- Looking at the map, where do you think the best place to invade Iran would be from?

12.- Kofie Anan is a drink, true or false?

13.- Who is Tony Blair?

14.- Which countries are in the axis of evil?

15.- Palestinians or Israelis, which ones are throwing "the rocks"?

16.- Who was the first man on the moon?

17.- What is a mosque?

18.- How many kidneys does a person have?

19.- What is collateral damage?

20.- How many world wars have there been?

21.- Which state in USA does KFC come from?

22.- Do you know what KFC stands for?

23.- The film STAR WARS was based on a true story, true or false?

24.- What are Hiroshima and Nagasaki famous for?

25.- How many Eiffel towers are there in Paris?

26.- What is Al-Qaeda?

27.- The language they speak in Latin-America is Latin, true or false?

Now you can compare YOUR ANSWERS with the anwers of american citizens to these questions. Click here to see the video.